Jesus fell under the weight of the cross because it was heavy and He was exhausted from hunger, thirst, loss of blood, lack of sleep and the shock of torture.

Actually, this incident is a literary invention. Neither the Synoptics (Matthew, Mark, Luke) nor the Fourth Gospel (John) contains this incident. Where does it come from? It comes from the Sixth Gospel, the movie Ben Hur. The Fifth Gospel is The Passion According to St. Matthew, by J. S. Bach.

Not only so, but the narrations of the scene do not agree as between the Synoptics on the one hand and the Fourth Gospel one the other. In the Synoptics, Jesus does not carry the cross. Soldiers compel Simon of Cyrene to carry it. In the Fourth Gospel, Jesus carries the cross, and there is no mention of Simon of Cyrene.

The Johannine account, related to John by Jesus in India after His resurrection, is accurate. The Synoptic account is a fabrication.

The Synoptics, based on a Marcionite canon (Luke), aim to avoid depicting Jesus in weakness. The Christ of the Synoptics is a Docetic apparition,

Interestingly, the account of the Sixth Gospel (Ben Hur) conflates the account of the Synoptics and that of the Fourth Gospel together with its own literary invention: Jesus carries the cross, He falls under its weight and the soldiers mercifully (for Jesus) or realistically (He being exhausted) compel Simon to shoulder its burden.

Jesus' falling under the weight of the cross is a literary invention that is believable because the context in which it is presented is known to be such as would make it likely. Neither the Synoptics nor the Fourth Gospel compels us to disbelieve the invention, which is so probably a fact that it can be taken as one.

A Jewish studio accurately portrayed the corruptible coil that Jesus wore, just as we do: a human body. The studio did not start, as the Synoptics do, from an allergic reaction (Marcionism/Docetism) to the facts.

Figure on thousands of ingenious and ingenuous writers flavoring the pot and myriads of opportunity for scribal emendation and you can appreciate what a mess the so-called Christian canon truly is.

There is a long-standing habit of taking this scene as a generic for 'bearing your cross, as Jesus did.' In the alleged canon itself are words to this effect. One may hear the line: 'We all have our cross (or crosses) to bear.' This habit is a corruption of an aspect of Pietist piety.

The Pietist movement, 17th and 18th Centuries in Europe and North America, emphasized, in part, the Passion of Jesus as caused by the sins of believers. The agony of contrition, such as full-time believers must endure, was focused on oneself having caused Jesus' suffering. The intense bitterness of this realization was the foundation for sanctification (reconstruction).

This great spiritual discipline of the Pietist movement is corrupted by ego and becomes self-pity, thus: from taking my sins as causing Jesus' suffering, I begin to see myself suffering as Jesus did. My sins disappear and in their place I see pitiable, undeserved suffering -- MY OWN! Jesus understands me because He, too, was dealt undeserved grief. He understands me and wants to comfort me in my unhappiness.

The gist of this perversity is ego concretized as self-pity, the cardinal sin of playing God, or, vaunt. Our grief is deserved. Jesus' pain was not. Comparing our sorrows with His suffering is a colossal conceit!

The facts are these: Jesus was bound and powerless. At this point, He could not shape events but was swept along by the inner logic of His Career, which included the response of others.

Earlier, He had considered avoiding this fate, but He decided against doing so. Now, His aim was to get it over with.

Jesus did not respond to Pilate because He was aware that nothing would come of anything He said. He was condemned. There was nothing to do but get on with it.

Jesus sacrificed His ego. He did not allow the little 'I' to obstruct the Mission on which He had come, a Mission He understood included crucifixion.

Jesus was not Himself a sacrifice for anything. He was not atoning for His sins or for those of anyone else. His Passion had nothing to do with atonement.

Jesus' ego was voluntarily sacrificed by Himself as a paradigm of spiritual practice. Spiritual practice is crucifixion of the ego. Christian religion is specifically this practice, illustrated by Jesus.

When the I-sense is crossed out, what one really is (Self, Atma) emerges. Self is what remains after the occlusive called 'ego' is removed through crucifixion. Self is the true I, the only entity entitled to use that word. This is the same Self that resides in every heart.

Self has no second. Salvation is effected not by getting and holding but by losing and loosing. The ego-less are God's source. They have the Bliss of participating in His Mission.

Adwaitha Hermitage
April 1992